zandoriastudios Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 I've been doing some experiments in duplicating my pencil style (Dark Lead sketchbook) in A:M http://www.hash.com/forums/index.php?s=&sh...ndpost&p=158839 I have an idea for a short involving a Troll, some fairies in a cage, and bass fishing.... Quote
steve392 Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 That would look wonderfull in 3d ,what a graet charector and the storys that could be made with it ,nice one Will Quote
Paul Forwood Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 Oh, yes! I look forward to seeing this come to life. You could probably find alot of inspiration for troll tales right here in the forums. ;-) Quote
Zaryin Posted February 4, 2006 Posted February 4, 2006 Great character concept. I also love that pencil style you've been working on. But bass fishing as a subject might be too scary for a story. Those fish are freaky looking! Quote
oakchas Posted February 5, 2006 Posted February 5, 2006 Will, Your troll looks like some bikers I've seen... at least in movies... hard to believe he's on foot. I'd be rollin on the floor laughin' if he was on a vintage Sting Ray that was waaaay too small fer 'im. His bucket o'fairies hangin on the handle bars... and the rod bungee corded to the back of the banana seat (or held on to with fingers, across the handle bars)... But that's prolly a different story.... and it only just came to mind studying the sketch! Love the pencil rendering concept! Quote
zandoriastudios Posted February 5, 2006 Author Posted February 5, 2006 Here is a sketch of a fairy for the cage.... Quote
pdaley Posted February 5, 2006 Posted February 5, 2006 Love your stuff as usual, Will. Not sure about her feet. They look out of scale for her waif body. But I noticed her hands were a little big too. Is this related, coincidence or am I seeing things? Is this going to be a story out of your brains or some other less potent source? Quote
MMZ_TimeLord Posted February 5, 2006 Posted February 5, 2006 Your pencil art is always top notch Will! I like the look of the characters... look forward to more progress. Quote
nixie Posted February 5, 2006 Posted February 5, 2006 I think the big hands and feet is a fairy thing, I like it! Personally I'd go with breasts a bit perkier, more like peanuts and less like baps! But it's a personal thing! Looking forward to your tests Will, Il have to check out these tests... Nixie Quote
zandoriastudios Posted February 5, 2006 Author Posted February 5, 2006 The proportions are on purpose. I did try a version that was more normal, but it looked too human (as in naked underaged girl!)... The story is just something that I thought up, but I won't give it away just yet. Quote
Dhar Posted February 5, 2006 Posted February 5, 2006 Excellent work as I have come to expect from you William. Do you have a favorite pencil to use like ebony or do you use different ones like B2's B6's etc..? Quote
agep Posted February 5, 2006 Posted February 5, 2006 Your drawings are super, and I'm really looking forward to see the models Quote
nixie Posted February 5, 2006 Posted February 5, 2006 Ahhhh! I didnt think about that, then i retract my previous oppinion! If you were to push it further perhaps wider hips. This is entirely up to you however, theres nothing wrong as is. I look forward to seeing the models. Nixie p.s you are one of the giants of AM, and I hope to stand on your shoulders eventually! Quote
zandoriastudios Posted February 19, 2006 Author Posted February 19, 2006 Storyboards. Thanks everyone for the comments--I hope this will turn out nice. I haven't done anything quite this ambitious, so I am happy to get any feedback. Quote
luckbat Posted February 19, 2006 Posted February 19, 2006 How many minutes long do you expect the short to be? Quote
zandoriastudios Posted February 19, 2006 Author Posted February 19, 2006 I guess about 2-3 minutes, depending on the time I spend on each scene. Do you think that I should put the sketches into a story reel, or wait till I start blocking the shots and just see how it feels? Quote
MMZ_TimeLord Posted February 19, 2006 Posted February 19, 2006 I like the flow of the story... should be excellent from your past work. Keep us posted! Quote
Paul Forwood Posted February 19, 2006 Posted February 19, 2006 Lovely sketches, Will! Yes I think you should turn this into an animatic to start with. That way you will get a clearer picture of the timing and will probably want to fill in some of the spaces. Are you setting this to music? Quote
zandoriastudios Posted February 19, 2006 Author Posted February 19, 2006 Yes, there will need to be music, but I'm inclined to hire someone to do a score after I have a rough animatic, rather than trying to fit an existing piece to it. Quote
Admin Rodney Posted February 19, 2006 Admin Posted February 19, 2006 I like the story/storyboards Will. That's a keeper. Quote
luckbat Posted February 19, 2006 Posted February 19, 2006 Do you think that I should put the sketches into a story reel, or wait till I start blocking the shots and just see how it feels? It depends on what approach you plan to take. If you're going to be shooting for more of a storybook feel, with lush backgrounds and a static camera, you might be able to go straight from storyboards to rough 3D blocking. On the other hand, if you know you're going to be dealing with a moving camera, I believe it would be in your best interest to do hand-drawn animatics before you begin working in the Chor. Quote
KenH Posted February 19, 2006 Posted February 19, 2006 Awww...poor fairies! They actually get squired onto the hook? Sounds abit barbaric. But then he is a troll. I'd put them into a smaller cage on the end of the line with a hook at the end of the cage. Wouldn't want to ruin those lovely models! How about abit of justice at the end where you see the troll choking on the fish he's just eaten. Maybe the surviving fairy could get revenge for her friends...Just chucking out ideas. But no, I do like the story. I just think it needs more of a "hook" to it. A sort of punchline thing going on. Quote
Stuart Rogers Posted February 19, 2006 Posted February 19, 2006 Awww...poor fairies! They actually get squired onto the hook? Sounds abit barbaric. .... I'd put them into a smaller cage on the end of the line with a hook at the end of the cage.Nah! Seen too many cutesy-cutesy fairy tales - tell it like it really is!How about abit of justice at the end ... I just think it needs more of a "hook" to it. A sort of punchline thing going on.I was about to say that I agree with that, but I'm having second thoughts. Maybe because I can't think of a suitably punchy ending that doesn't involve a lot more work. Quote
KenH Posted February 19, 2006 Posted February 19, 2006 Just some suggestions to be noted and considered. Nothing more: 1) The fairies are frantically trying to fray the rope to escape. One by one they get hauled out. Then at the end when the last fairy is about to escape, he just opens the door....and with surprise and shock she flys out. I think it would add a sense of drama and suspense. 2) A big fish pulls the troll into the water. The cage lands on his head as he sits in the water and the cage open to allow the (most likable) fairy to go free. Quote
Dhar Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 I can't seem to connect with the story. What am I missing? What's the moral of the story? Please help me understand. Quote
Paul Forwood Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 I agree that the story seems too harsh. The real world may be full of 'dog-eat-dog' where the biggest, meanest critters seem to come out on top but shouldn't the story carry some hope? I think that the audience will identify with the fairies more than the troll. Perhaps you have a twist that you are not showing us yet? At the moment, and I mean this with the greatest respect, it is just a visually beautiful, horror story about fishing bait. The fairies' magic could be used, through the fish, to provide a moral at the dinner table. Some kind of twist where the troll ends up 'on-the hook' or where he learns to respect creatures that are smaller than himself? Or the fairies are caught in the first place by being preoccupied with their own vanity. I don't know. It just seems a bit barbaric at the moment. To me it just seems to be saying that life is brutal but maybe you're not showing us the whole story. Or maybe I'm just being too soft. Whatever, it looks like it will be a beautiful animated short and will make an excellent show piece. Quote
entity Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 Ummm, I believe that that is the overall big picture here... He could have used the last fairie... but he freed the fairie, when the fairie had no hope. I like the whole emotional grip of it. It's a very interesting concept... and very original... see the emotions he got out of you with just thumbnails/storyboards? Get it? Conflict = story. Although, you could have the troll at least have some regretfull look on his face when he frees the last fairie. That wouldn't take the troll completely out of character... We need to see his struggle in freeing the fairie to show that he, at last, fought something in himself. Quote
entity Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 Okay- A good working title--- "Good to the Last Fairie" Just kidding-(I started thinking of those "Maxwell House coffee" commercials) Quote
Stuart Rogers Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 More and more I think he should stick with the current ending - anything else turns it into slapstick, or a gag, or similar. The atmosphere I was reading from the bulk of the storyboard (especially after re-reading) was more of delicate documentary - a visual equivalent of a musical etude. Given Will's artistic abilities, I think this will be visually stunning, and trying to add a big ending would detract from that. Quote
zandoriastudios Posted February 20, 2006 Author Posted February 20, 2006 I'm glad to see the range of reactions to the storyboard. It is true that I want you to empathise with the fairy. She goes frome rage/anger to fear/horror to grief/despair to apathy to sudden joy over the course of the events, and I hope to be able to convey that and have her take the audience with her. The troll isn't maliciously killing the fairies. he's just going fishing. So he is as indifferent to the fairies as a human would be to a minnow that he was using as bait. Minnows won't keep more than a few days (die), so usually when you are done fishing, you just dump them into the water. So there isn't any mercy in the troll either.... The troll could represent mans contradictory relationship with nature. Notice the troll enjoying the view and the fishing experience--but oblivious to the plight of the bait, or the fish.... The fairies emote feelings that should make the audience (and apparently that is working) identify with them...That life is cruel, sometimes merciless, sometimes merciful (she does go free in the end). The evil that crushes us, torments us, and ends us...might also be indifferent to us.... Lots of little existential stuff you can do with a "fairy tale". Quote
Dhar Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 Now I see why I didn't have the emotional connection with the fairy. This is only my own personal thought & I could be way off base. I'm learning as I go. My thoughts are based on what I learned at college from a retired Disney animator. There wasn't enough time or a situation to build up that connection. The story starts with the fairy already caught in the pail. Will conveyed the distress of the fairy in the 4th scene, but the emotional connection isn't there because the fairy was not yet introduced to me. I would feel her distress if, as an example, I saw her flying free, playing with the other fairies, maybe a playful situation that we can all remember as kids (a game of hide & seek?). Or the fairy dances with a bumble bee? And then, in the middle of this happy scene, they get caught by the troll... and the rest is histo... Will's story I don't want the story to go the way I want, it is Will's and only Will knows what's best. I'm simply sharing what I think will make it more dramatic. Quote
Zaryin Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 Well I don't know what some of these people are talking about. I saw the meaning of this story from just the storyboards. I didn't have a problem understanding where Will was going. I love this idea. You just don't see enough of this kind of story. Go for it, Will! Quote
Dagooos Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 Great story. I thought the same thing as dhar maybe start out with the faeries in their natural enviroment with a shot of the faeries sunning themselves while relaxing on a leaf and then a close up of the trolls hand grabbing her. When the troll reaches into the cage one faerie could push the other out of the way sacrificing themselves for the other then a dramatic shot of the faerie bravely being set on the hook then you would have a hero. Ok I will stop babbling now Quote
Zaryin Posted February 20, 2006 Posted February 20, 2006 Great story. I thought the same thing as dhar maybe start out with the faeries in their natural enviroment with a shot of the faeries sunning themselves while relaxing on a leaf and then a close up of the trolls hand grabbing her. When the troll reaches into the cage one faerie could push the other out of the way sacrificing themselves for the other then a dramatic shot of the faerie bravely being set on the hook then you would have a hero. Ok I will stop babbling now But I think this kind of thing would ruin the metaphor of the story. In real life most people will run from danger than be the first to put themselves in front of it. And showing the faeries in their "home" being grabbed by the troll might give too much of an impression of evil menice with the Troll instead of the Troll just going fishing. Quote
Admin Rodney Posted February 20, 2006 Admin Posted February 20, 2006 (I'm going to read into this too much here but bear with me) While I think there is a morale to the story here there really doesn't have to be per se. Its enough just to know that these 'creatures' live in different worlds and react differently to the same event. This story says a great deal about Trolls... and quite a bit about faeries too. The simplicity of a common fishing trip joined with the complexity of MURDER really sells the shock experienced by the remaining faerie. There is an emotional rollercoaster going on here... and a lot of it is shown off screen in the audiences imagination. The story poses some pretty serious questions without giving the answers. It lets the audience formulate both the questions and the answers. Thats pretty great stuff storytelling-wise. This story has a very 'Heavy Metal' or 'Epic' feel to it (as in the comic book magazines). Definitely a mature story on its own merits with or without the nudity. The fact that you keep it simple without getting gratuitous says even more. Pretty simple... yet serious stuff. I'm impressed. Quote
Dhar Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 I agree that the story as it stands could very well express the metaphor Jeff & Rodney refer to. But if Will wants to, as he said "The fairies emote feelings that should make the audience (and apparently that is working) identify with them", then I feel an emotional connection with the fairies needs to be established first. A sad fairy in a pail is what it is; a sad fairy in a pail. But if that fairy had made me laught earlier, or made me connect with her on a personal level (I don't know about you but I've never been inside a pail before), then when she's in that pail that becomes appalling to me, now it's personal, because that would be me or someone I truly care about that is in distress. That's all I'm saying. Will; as they say in the entertainment industry: go break a leg. (That's = good luck) Quote
KenH Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 I'd also agree with Dhar. It wouldn't take much. Just a few flowers with a fairy smelling them...being at one with nature, then bam, down comes the trap and fade to the Troll walking with them in his cage. In the beginning, the story would seem to be a sweet one, but it takes a turn for the worst. Quote
trajcedrv Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 I think that this story sports great metaphor of our (human) relation to the nature (or lack of real relation with the nature)... This is going to be cool short... I would think about adding 'get to know lovely fairy' beginning, but then again it would remove 'depersonalization' of the story... CAN'T WAIT! Drvarceto btw...maybe 'colour option' should be considered... Quote
zandoriastudios Posted February 21, 2006 Author Posted February 21, 2006 No color! The whole purpose is to work on the "Dark Lead" sketch look! Quote
Stuart Rogers Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 That's a shame - I think this would look really good in colour. Rich tones in the troll's skin texture, nice sparkly colours around the fairies, a nice golden sunset as the troll strolls home... Quote
zandoriastudios Posted February 21, 2006 Author Posted February 21, 2006 Yes, it would look good. No It won't be... I want it to look unique. "A shame"? What is there to be ashamed about?--that I don't it to look like everyone else's??? Quote
Stuart Rogers Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 "A shame"? What is there to be ashamed about?Nothing. I was using it in this sense (take from the dictionary that comes with Mac OS X 10.4): [in sing. ] a regrettable or unfortunate situation or action : it is a shame that they are not better known. Regrettable (or unfortunate) that the final result isn't going to match how I imagined it would look. No shame as you're reading it! Quote
zandoriastudios Posted February 21, 2006 Author Posted February 21, 2006 Regrettable (or unfortunate) that the final result isn't going to match how I imagined it would look. What is important is that it matches the way I imagine it. Thats why I'm saying that saying it is regrettable or a shame is a question mark. I want it to look the way that I imagine it. Everyone will approach the same subject differently--what is important to critique it, is not to substitute your own choices--but to understand the author's. Then you will be able to advise him as to how successfully he is accomplishing his objective. So, yes, I understand that some people will approach it with color; some people will start with happy fairies frolicking and then captured; Some will like to see the troll punished for murder; some will prefer that the fish are caught and released... Now that we have that out of the way, we have established that I will be doing it my way without regrets. Along the way, I would like to continue to get your feedback as to what is working and why or why not. Especially when I get to my animation, I will definately need feedback on the performance, because that is my weakest area... Quote
Stuart Rogers Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 What is important is that it matches the way I imagine it. ...Absolutely! Anyone else's presumptions (including mine) are their own problems, not yours!Now that we have that out of the way, we have established that I will be doing it my way without regrets.You'll get no arguments from me. It's interesting to see all these points of view, but as you say it's your project to see through to the end how you wish. Quote
entity Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 ... we have established that I will be doing it my way without regrets. Amen! We are here to help each other. We should all keep this as a standard. Will, you have generated a lot of heat here, and I'll be watching this thread very closely! Quote
luckbat Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 All righty. So far you've posted your storyboards and some story notes. Do you want critiques of any kind at this stage? If so, on what? Quote
zandoriastudios Posted February 21, 2006 Author Posted February 21, 2006 The feedback so far has been helpful--because I can see that the story idea has provoked peoples reactions. I am about to start modeling, and will post progress of that next. Quote
Dhar Posted February 21, 2006 Posted February 21, 2006 Animated pencil sketches Now that changes everything. Pencil sketches have a mood of their own, and this will definitely keep things "dark". Can't wait to see more. Quote
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