Dhar,
Lipsync is looking pretty good!
In my opinion:
I think you could get a lot more impact if this was not just a soliloquy,
but an exclamation to the viewer/audience.
So, talking and looking (sometimes) at the viewer, not just talking to himself.
And, how about . . .
. . . a little anticipation time/action before he makes his verbal delivery.
This also gives him some thinking time.
. . . having his shoulders down to indicate sadness.
. . . shoulders up during "I can't rewrite what's perfect." Then, down again.
. . . bringing his hand up sooner, before "It's unbelievable."
. . . a little breathing motion with the chest and/or shoulders.
. . . a head tilt to the side too, not just forward.
. . . keeping his brows up during "It's unbelievable."
. . . his head shaking "no" as he's saying "It's unbelievable."
. . . keeping the brows down while he's saying "The director . . . of my music!"
. . . lips close together a bit before ". . . rewrite what's perfect."
. . . brow staying up during "I can't rewrite what's perfect."
But that's just me. : )
Wow, you've got a whole week to finish this!
Cool!