OLD NEWS: My contest entry

[trajcedrv]

As I said above: this is old news, hovewer I feel that some critiwue would be helpful (even negative critique)

 

 

 

 

I have been very busy lately, so my animation which should include those two characters is in (God knows for how long) hiatus. So, I have decided to share those two with the community under condition that they would be not used for commercial purposes and that my name should be mentioned where ever they appear (more in the readme file). I will sent them as soon as I get confirmation that it is ok to post the textures (road and grass - which I have downloaded form David Gurrea's site (http://www.davegh.com/blade/davegh.htm). If that is not possible I will post the project to Steve Sappington without them.

 

Best Regards,

 

Riste Sekuloski (trajcedrv)

[Rodney]

Riste,

That's a really generous thing to do!

It'll be a wonderful resource to explore.

 

No major crit from me. The main story being told is pretty obvious.

I'll post a few examples of some things I might adjust if I were setting up the scene.

Please take them for what they are... just exploring. Your own take... and the story you have in mind is the most important thing.

 

So the first thing I should tell you is that I really like your image.

There is a lot to like... a Barbarian... Dragon... sword and fantasy setting...

 

I'll start with the Sword.

 

It isn't entirely clear what is going on with the sword.

I'm sure you have a story behind it but its not entirely clear.

As I don't know the story just for compositions sake I might move it into his hand and angle it a bit.

 

 

(More after dinner or I'll be going without... or so the family says)

[Rodney]

Adjusting the sword is my attempt to find a place for it in the image.

An additional benefit to moving it is that it frees up some additional space in the upper left corner.

 

There are then the two columns left and right of the main character than might also adjusted.

My example here is entirely too much but chosen to illustrate a point.

The flow of objects (lines of action etc.) should help create depth and push the attention of the viewer to where you want it.

 

The archers in this example could be replaced with any statue.

Perhaps it could be the remnants of an old iron fence and this is the path where we enter the castle grounds. It sure looks like a good place to leave!

 

Whatever we might place there we of course would not want it to interfere with our first impression of the dragon. Breaking off a significant part of the statue on the left might hint that the dragon has been here before and keep that corner free.

[Rodney]

In this next level of detail the image is getting a bit too busy.

Time to pick and choose what works... and discard what doesn't.

 

The next place I'd suggest putting some attention is in the far background.

Adding hints at what is back there can be easily done without spending a whole lot of time and effort.

 

Flags... (both literally and figuratively) are pointers you can use to guide the eye around the image. In this case I've added some flags from the parapets that point again to the upper left corner. Whatever the eye will eventually be drawn to in the upper left corner it'll be really easy to see. Additional elements might be arranged to draw attention (or even divert it) where necessary. Crumbling buildings? Depth? Subtle change in color can suggest them too.

 

In this example there are some horizontal lines above our barbarian that could easily be done away with... maybe a good place for a crumbling brick pattern? A subtle cue the world is crashing down on him?

[Rodney]

Looks like were are headed for trouble with this one.

 

As we might free up some space in the upper left it could give us the opportunity to bring in the dragon for a nice close up. In my case... not so nice... so forgive the rush job. My errors will be easy to spot.

 

Hopefully it at least illustrates the point.

You could exaggerate the dragon's head and make it even bigger to really let us feel the peril our hero is in.

[Rodney]

I'll finish with this.

 

Ultimately we are trying to communicate the story within the image.

I apologize that I've taken liberties with *your story* but was inspired by what you already had there. You've got a great thing going.

 

The character must always come first... he's even more important as its *his* story.

Highlighting what is on his mind and making that connection will help tell that story.

 

Keep up the great work!

[MattWBradbury]

There's some changes I think would be useful. First, the face needs a little work. I suggest using Bruce Willis's face because this is a really actiony shot. Can't have Bruce without a gun, so that should be added too. Might as well put him in a known location like New York. Oh what the hey, change the dragon into an Apache helo. Better to have titles on scenes so that should be added as well.

 

animated gif

 

 

[DanCBradbury]

the main thing that stands out to me in your image, is that it looks like a bad shop -- mainly with respect to lighting. The dragon and building in the background dont have any real depth to them because they lack hard shadows and their shadows dont match up with the character's shadows.

 

Also, it looks like your barbarian is standing in a studio in front of a large image; the smoke comming out of the dragons mouth kinda looks like a specular highlight that a bright studio light might be making on the back drop image. You might want to take out the smoke. There's a very strange shadow going accross the barbarian's face, obscureing his features. You might want to reposition your sun light, and maybe add a few non shadow casting sky lights.

 

but yes, definatly go with uniform lighting throughout the scene.

[Rodney]

I'm thinking Matt might be on to something there.

If you can't get Bruce Willis try for Demi Moore.

 

Lighting... yeah... why not. Do lots of the stuff Dan said too!

 

With CC&C like this you should be famous soon.

[trajcedrv]

Thanks for all the input! I'll try to make some (MAJOR) changes!

[itsjustme]

Very generous donation, Riste! Congratulations on placing in the competition!

[Rodney]

Riste,

In looking over this topic I hope we didn't come across as suggesting you implement these changes. For my part I've just been exploring the possibilities. As this is a recurring character of yours I'm sure you have a lot of scenes planned for him and I look forward to seeing those. If you do feel compelled to tweak this one... well then... have at it!

 

I want to point out some things that really work well in your scene too as I didn't do a very good job of that.

 

You have very strong poses.

Both the barbarian and the Dragon staging is really nice and they work well together.

 

I think the barbarian's pose is the best of the two of course.

I especially like the twist/the tension you've got in his body.

He's definitely a captivating character.

 

You've got the eye directing elements I mentioned before all over the scene too.

The columns direct our interest to center stage.

The castle... you've got it there too.

 

Its a successful image as is so be proud of that!

[Caroline]

We (I called in the family to do a collective vote) thought your image was great, and made us smile. And, sorry Rodney, I liked the sword in the air with motion blur - scary dragon, ditch sword, run faster. Also, using the sword and the arm to frame the dragon was good.

 

Perhaps it was the dust and smoke that made it look like a bad shop - the initial impression to me was that the image was somehow not quite sharp. I'm not skilled enough to pick out why though.

 

He's a great character - I'd like to see more.

[Rodney]

I liked the sword in the air with motion blur

 

A thing of beauty Caroline. My point wasn't just to move it. I just don't know why its there.

 

I don't have to know mind you... but would like to know.

In an animation all would be instantly revealed.

[trajcedrv]

Thanks Caroline! You have noticed that he throw away the sword!

 

I have not received any answer about the textures yet... I'll wait for a few days and then sent an archive without them but with links to the site (I think that it would be fair approach)

[Rodney]

Thanks Caroline! You have noticed that he throw away the sword!

 

I'm so misunderstood! LOL

 

I don't want to overstate the obvious but... here goes... (exploring because you are letting me)

 

Its easy to imagine why the sword is there. That he has tossed it aside is really the only reason I can imagine it would be there. Would any other reason spring to mind?

 

Bear with me here... apparently I wasn't clear or precise enough in my earlier wording.

My point is that it isn't clear *why* he would do this.

 

If we knew more about this character we might now that he does this everytime he gets into trouble. (If he did that he'd end up buying a whole lot of swords!)

 

As one in a series of images it'd work within that context but we don't have those other images to refer to. Some facial animation or throwing gesture might help sell it.

 

In animation we (yes... even Caroline's family! LOL) must strive for clarity.

 

Am I reading too much into this thrown away sword business?

Anyone else see ways to futher clarify?

 

Dirtying or breaking the sword might be one way to send that message but somehow that too doesn't quite satisfy...

 

Let me just ask the question then.

Why DID he throw away his shiny new sword???

 

(I'm seriously interested in your character and his backstory so I'm hoping you'll elaborate a bit there too)

[Rodney]

I still had my photoshop'd image so submit this as one possible solution toward clarifying that he just dropped the sword. Note the suggested change to the eyes to accentuate what he's got his mind on.

[Rodney]

Here's a thumbnail comparison to bring all my suggestions together.

For what its worth I like yours better!

[Caroline]

Your's works for me as well, Rodney, (I bet if you were ever chased by a dragon you'd lose that sword pretty fast, no matter how shiny and new )

and I like the exaggerated rollback eyes.

 

I think the issue with this image, though, is the quality of the render - I think it's the dust that doesn't swirl quite naturally enough, but I'd be interested in your comments on how to make the image a better "quality". I've noticed that the winning images have a kind of soft focus yet still sharp quality, that I don't know how to reproduce, and I don't have the techno-language to describe it either. Is it all in the lighting?

 

Thank you, Riste, for making your image available for this kind of critique.

[trajcedrv]

I have few confessions to make:

 

I agree that greatest problem with this image lies into the way it is rendered (not that there are not other problems). Thing is:

 

I came with the idea on new years eve (yeah, the deadline).

 

Luckily, I had the objects ready (ground included), so the thing was posing them and adding something of the castle in the background (I had some stone made structures already ready)

 

I posed the Dragon and the Barbarian, started to assemble the castle... of course, it looked terrible. So I came with this great idea: some fogging would probably hide the background, and the characters would came out... then I added volumetric effect for the smoke and dust (actually something like 10 volumetric effects ;-))... Then I made some test renders... I thought something about the light (of course, AO would do the trick, but my ol' A:M doesn't do AO)... and that was it, my time was up!

 

This image has 3 point light setup (the standard one) with slightly changed intensity values and few lights with negative intensity - to darken some places...

 

Anyway, thanks for the input, it is highly appreciated!

[trajcedrv]

I am sorry that I couldn't send my files earlier, but I have decided to use new textures replacing those which use was restricted. Unfortunately, I got quite ill, so I just couldn't get a time to do that properly.

 

Also, I cannot use FTP (Probably my internet provider's fault), and I couldn't post those on the forum, so I have decided to sent them as attachment to Stephen Sappington.

 

I am leaving up to Steve how to make those files available to those interested

 

Greetings,

 

Riste Sekuloski (trajcedrv)