trajcedrv Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 Sorry, I don't know how to make link but my animation contest entry can be found at the hash.com, - > animation contest - > contest entries - > Trajce Taneski... Except for the theme which could be counted in the mood shot with a lot of tolerance, what do you make of it... please your thoughts, areas of improvement etc Thank you in advance Drvarceto EDIT: If I am not doing something wrong, this should be the link> http://www.hash.com/animationcontest/Q0205/05.mov Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dborruso Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 I really liked this animation. I think its well done and fun to watch. The teeth have a lot of personality and are cute. Good work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luckbat Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 There's actually very little to criticize. Timing and keyframing looks uniformly good to my eyes. A simple story told clearly and efficiently. Perhaps a bit of squash-&-stretch on the teeth when the mouth closes? Maybe some texturing to make the teeth look more like teeth? From a modeling standpoint, the lack of brows limits the emotional range of the teeth. They can only act "sleepy" or "awake." I don't think you need eyebrows, but perhaps by sinking the eyeballs into the bodies a bit more, you can fashion foreheads from the upper bodies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trajcedrv Posted July 13, 2005 Author Share Posted July 13, 2005 Thank you, squash / stretch was opted out early beacuse of the un-tooth like behaviour ;-D textures would make teeth look sick (healthy teeth don't have surface properties other than glossyness) Thank you VERY much for your oppinions Want some more Drvarceto Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NancyGormezano Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 It is hard to find something wrong with this animation - its fun, silly, cute educational flick - good panning in the beginning, loved the expressions when sad and happy - liked the silly music, silly sounds Only thing I could really come up with to improve is at the end and the teeth are just all blinking, seemed too repetitive - some variation in eye movement would be better - they could be looking at each other, changing expressions more... (and squishy & squashy are untoothlike behavior? ya telling me blinking, smiling, oohing & ahhing IS toothlike? ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nosferatu Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Overall, a fine piece. The only constructive criticism I can offer is: 1 It has a bit of a lazy, floaty feel to it. I would try slightly more lively music and attach the braces with a quicker, less floaty movement. The floatiness of the sprites would be fine if the metal elements were snappier. 2 At the very end, just when the credits appear, the lower-left tooth jumps forward in position. Not noticable to the average viewer, though. These are just minor points. You did a great job! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trajcedrv Posted July 14, 2005 Author Share Posted July 14, 2005 Thanks for the critiques, you are really helping me, I think that it will show in my next short... I've decided to call it a day on this one... Charlie, Drvarceto means 'Woodman' in my language ;-P And I think that (having in mind raving hormones in any teen body and the fact that looks is THE most important thing (I know, I've been there ;-D), this shorts needs only to be seen and it would do the trick - of course this is my oppinion...) Nancy, yeah, I am aware of the repetitiveness at the end - I made it that way (I made 5 sec cycle that repeats some 3 times but I thought that most of the people would concentrate on the text so it wouldn't matter... Thank you again... Want some more Drvarceto Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
apophispro Posted July 15, 2005 Share Posted July 15, 2005 Trajce, Being one of these "raving hormonal" teens that you refer to I can tell you that seeing that animation would not convince me to get braces. I have had braces already by the way, but thinking back to before I got them there was almost nothing (excluding my parents) that could force me to get them. As a teen braces look bad (even if they make your teeth look better), they are painful which you hear from all of your friends before getting them, they make eating annoying, and a whole list of other downsides. Not to mention the fact that when you go in to get them your doctor shows a video which is basically a legal disclaimer on injuries that could occur. In order to convince a teen that braces are good you have to outweigh all the negatives with a positive, and those are a lot of negatives to outweigh. The mere fact that your teeth would be happy and straight is not an incentive. You would really have to take a much more mature animation that explains both the positives and the negatives, and then shows why the positives outweigh the negatives. Something like: if you don't get braces this is what your teeth will look like in ten years. Although I think it is an excellent animation; I'm going to have to agree that it would not sell braces to teens. Hope this helps. -Avi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trajcedrv Posted July 16, 2005 Author Share Posted July 16, 2005 aposphiro, I agree that all that 'wearing braces' is unappealing... even I would say that it is a bit terrifying... and this anim is not trying to convince anyone... I will live that to the Orthodontist! The basic idea is to remind all those that need it that there is sollution to their problem... however scarry it may seem... while making this animation, I' ve seen a lot of pictures of people wearing them and I am grateful that I didn't needed them ;-D What I need is critiques to the execution of the animation and how to make myself better at it... I am pretty clear about the general idea of this animation and I am not going back to it... Thanks everyone so far, hope to hear some more... Drvarceto Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TurboGorilla Posted July 16, 2005 Share Posted July 16, 2005 Wow! Very nice! I liked how it felt so smooth and alive. My only suggestion would be to either: a) Move the camera up slightly higher so you can see the tops of the bottom row of teeth so that you realize that these are actually teeth when you view them or Shape the teeth objects so they look more like real teeth. What I mean is, you may have made 100% anatomically correct and scaled teeth, not being a dentist and not spending a lot of time looking into mouths, I couldn't say. However, these teeth look a lot like real teeth but there's something about them that looks odd. Not bad, just odd. But I know that when I draw something, a lot of times I cannot simply draw a completely accurate representation of the subject because when you do, it does not translate well to the flat surface. Like a face. Draw a face and you can achieve technical accurateness relatively easily. However, the face looks flat and unalive. Add a few exagerations on the nose or cheekbone, an extra, unexpected shadow below the bottom lip and on the cleft of the chin, etc..and suddenly you have a face that jumps off the page and looks like it's talking to you! What I'm wondering is if maybe you added some various shadings and unexpected colors and the odd curve or bump here and there to give the viewer a intuitive impression of teeth, in addition to their anatomically correct shapes. They already come alive. I'm wondering if you could possibly make them both alive and at the same time an immediate realization that hey, these are TEETH!!! I dunno...I'm offering critique on something that I'd have given my right hand to have been able to achieve! It's really quite impressive! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trajcedrv Posted July 16, 2005 Author Share Posted July 16, 2005 TurboGorilla, thanks for the input... btw, you sound as if you have some cool drawings to show... can we / me see some? Drvarceto p.s. basic form of the teeth should be accurate to the best of my knowledge... although I had to make some compromisses... I first modeled only one tooth (I think lower jaw 3rd) and then I pushed and pulled CP's until I got all 16 (times two, that's 32), but I avoided using eights beacuse of their difference from the real ones... I still think that any texturing would make them even more unhappy... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisThom Posted July 17, 2005 Share Posted July 17, 2005 My wife is a dental assistant and she really liked it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dhar Posted July 17, 2005 Share Posted July 17, 2005 Job well done. The quality of this piece is something I expect to see on a TV ad. Go trajc go Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trajcedrv Posted July 17, 2005 Author Share Posted July 17, 2005 ChrisThom: say HI to your wife - compliment from the professional! wooo hooo!!! Dhar: Thanks! It just might happen! (somewhere far far away - but I'll am not gonna get no money for that - or so it seems, unless somebody from this forums decides to buy it ;-D) Drvarceto Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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