[2_07_34]

Here is my first take of the Tin Head. Please let me know what I can fix or make better. Thanks.

 

Paula

2_07_34_take.mov

[2_07_003]

Yeah, that's looking good.....especially for a relative newbie. Just two more suggested adjustments. In the first frame, his neck looks distorted and I think a moving hold would be perfect for after he first puts his hand down on the window ledge.

 

Thanks Ken. I will make those changes.

[2_07_003]

Thanks for the encouragement guys!

[2_07_003]

Here is a new version with some revisions.

2_07_003_take.mov

[2_07_003]

Wow, thanks for all the feedback everyone!

 

Regarding the last pose Ken, I will remove it. I wasn't sure how to end it, but I think leaving him looking through the window is a good idea. Hopefully that will take care of Nancy and Goodguy's concerns with the last pose. I'll not sure what you mean by "camera cuts away as he's in "mid movement"." Do you mean at the end of the shot?

 

Thanks for approving the shot Martin. I will still try and do the tweaks mentioned in all the critiques (as that is the most important part of learning), at least until I get my next assignment.

 

Thanks for the encouragement everyone!

 

Paula

[2_07_003]

Here is my first take for this scene. Please let me know what you think. Thanks!

 

Paula

2_07_003_take.mov

[2_07_003]

Here, take a look at this rough tests. One shows your setup, with estimated lines of thirds present. Tin Man's head is centered almost exactly. The second one shows him slightly off to the right, as Nancy mentioned. What do you think between the two?

 

Oh that right! I can do that. I'm not great with this camera/screen direction stuff.....I thought Nancy ment the other right and I was having a hard time picturing that. Silly me. I can definitely make that change. Thanks for your input guys.

 

Paula

[2_07_003]

How about this one Nancy? Does that look cleaner or is it too hard to see that he is on the porch?

 

Yes, it looks cleaner to me. You might see how it looks to move tinman more to the right, but keeping the same pose, such that his head doesn't fall directly in the center of the screen - it might make it a little more interesting.

 

If this were the only shot of the exterior of Kuklip's, then I would say one wouldn't know that he was on a porch - but I'm assuming the previous shots have set it up so that we realize he is on the porch, even without seeing the posts

 

Thanks Nancy. I agree that the previous shot should set things up nicely and it definitely looks cleaner. I'm a little leary of moving him to the right, as he will not be peaking around the edge of the window, but rather right in front of it. Maybe this doesn't matter...what do you think? Thanks again for your input!

 

Paula

[2_07_003]

How about this one Nancy? Does that look cleaner or is it too hard to see that he is on the porch?

[2_07_003]

Thanks for your comments guys. I will pick between 2 or 3, but I guess the camera can easily be changed later.

 

Goodguy, I'm not sure whether the camera will track or not. I guess it depends on the previous scene, but once again, the person putting it together can always decide that later, as I am reallllly not good at making these types of decisions yet!

 

Paula

[2_07_003]

This scene doesn't have the camera angle set and I am terrible at figuring such things out, so I thought I'd post a few shots and get some input before I get started. The dialog is as follows:

 

 

2_07_003

TIN WOODMAN peers in through one of the windows.

 

SCARECROW (OS) Eh, he’s probably off, snipping something… Eh, welding… Or something?

 

I assume (OS) means off screen, but maybe I am wrong. In any case, please give me any thoughts and ideas on it. Thanks!

 

Paula

[1_04_04]

Here is take 2 of this scene. Please let me know what I can improve. Thanks!

 

Paula

1_04_04_take.mov

[1_04_04]

Thanks for your comments and encouragement guys! I was trying to hit the action with the dialog higginsdj, but I guess I'm still off a little. I will do some more adjustments.

 

Paula

[1_04_04]

Here is my first take of this scene (minus lip sync). I just wanted to get some input to see if I am on the right track. I found this one hard as it had a lot of dialog with little action. Let me know what you think. Thanks.

 

Paula

1_04_04_take.mov

[1_04_05]

Thanks for the comments guys. I've tried to fix the few things that were mentioned, although I don't know if I was successful at making it any better!

 

Paula

1_04_05_take.mov

[1_04_05]

Here is my first pass at this scene. Let me know what you think. Thanks!

 

Paula

1_04_05_take.mov

[1_03_41a take 2]

Here is take 2 of 1_03_41a. I just added arcs and overlap. Let me know if there is anything else I should do. Thanks!

 

Paula

 

P.S. I posted the original Take 1 and the new Take 2 for comparison.

1_03_41a_take_original.mov

1_03_41a_take.mov

[1_03_41a]

combined comments on several hackfest clips here

 

http://www.brilliantisland.com/two/hackfestcommentsH.mov

 

Hi Robcat. I have to do a revision on this scene. I was wondering if you still had a copy of the critique that you did. Thanks.

 

Paula

[1_05_25]

After all the helpful feedback I have revised my scene. Please let me know what you think. I feel that there is still something wrong with the head movement in the stand, but I can't figure out what it is.

 

Paula

_1_05_25_take2_test1.mov

[02_07_094]

Good start Marshall. I'm not much of an animator yet, but as an observer, I notice that his hands coming up to and moving away from his face is quite symetrical, as is the timing of that movement. Good work in keeping him alive with the rest of his body motion.

 

Paula

[1_05_25]

promising work, Paula!

 

some comments:

 

[attachmentid=21839]

 

Thank you so much for taking the time to critique my work robcat! That was very helpful (and encouraging). I will get to work on those changes tonight (...providing the trick or treaters stop ringing the door bell)!

 

Thanks for the lip sync tips too Ken. That is my first ever attempt so I need all the help I can get!

[1_05_25]

Here is my attempt at lip sync.

_1_05_25_take1.mov

[1_05_25]

It reads better. The arm lowering down at the end could be slower as if he was relaxing instead of forcing his hand down.

 

Thanks for your feedback Yves. I'll look at slowing it down.

 

On another note, I am working on the lip sync right now, and I am wondering if people are generally using the dopesheet in TWO or are they manually doing it. I tried the dopesheet and didn't really like the results, although maybe I'm not using it correctly. Thanks.

 

Paula

[1_05_25]

Thanks for your comments Rhett and Yves. I have tried to incorporate the feed back from everyone. I hope it's a little better. I think I'll move on to the LipSync for now, and come back to the tweeking after I sleep on it a bit.

 

Paula

_1_05_25_take1_test3.mov

[1_05_25]

oh and btw - word of warning: The "rhetorical pointing police" are out gunning for offenders.

 

http://www.hash.com/forums/index.php?s=&am...st&p=200386

 

I personally don't mind it.

 

Thanks for your comments Nancy. I was just reading the "dialog" thread and thinking I better go back and edit my post. The finger point (and the lowering of the arm) was already blocked out when I got the scene, so I just worked with it. I'll wait and see what Rhett has to say. If he wants me to change it, I will, otherwise, maybe it is one spot a point will be allowed!

 

Thanks for your lip sync tips Ken and George, yes I agree with your comment on the arm action at the end. I noticed it right before I posted it last night, but decided to post anyways to get some feedback. I left the computer generated moving hold, but I guess I better do it by hand.