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  • Hash Fellow

I think the body language is mostly working although my suggestion would be to not do such a long shot with only hand gestures. Find something else for her to be doing even if it's only handling a cup of coffee while she's talking.

 

 

The mouth shapes often seem like too much too fast. A lot of syllables in speech don't really need a complete mouthshape change. In real life our mouthshapes are very indistinct

 

I picked out a few here...

 

shapes.jpg

 

 

a, b, c, and e seem overly stretched and an over complicated shape.

 

b and c are a bit odd with the mouth so open while the teeth are closed

 

I think a lot of people tend to bring the mouth corners too high for smile poses like in d. I find good smiles hard to do on most characters.

 

In general they are all very big even when she's not talking loudly and when she gets to a spot where she really is shouting like in f she ends up with a smaller mouth than when she was talking at a lower level.

 

the other thing that bothers me is the lips are very black and the whole arrangement starts to hint of a moustache and goatee rather than lips.

 

The arm pose in g is called the "W" pose and most animators will regard that as a cliche to be avoided. You only do it once though.

 

The hand are rather stiff ,as you note. Avoid poses where the fingers form a flat plane with the palm of the hand like in a and d and e. Animators call those "paddle hands". (animators seem to like to give disparaging titles to things). Avoid poses where the hands make a straight line with the arm. Avoid poses where the fingers sit evenly spaced like in a, b and e

 

The fist poses in f and h and are very squarish, like in 1 below. Try something like 2.

 

fists.jpg

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Not much to add to what Robcat already said, but I thought the sound was a couple of frames ahead of the picture. Try delaying it a frame or two and see if it doesn't synch up better. Also, the inside of her mouth is too red and it looks like the background so it seems as though you can see right through. Perhaps if you darken it.

 

These are all relatively minor things of course - you've got a good sense of timing and are really getting somewhere.

 

Alan

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Thank you guys for your responses.

 

Addressing the lip synch: I'm with you wholeheartedly Robcat. In the original run, I had a whole lot more syllables and it looked really chatter-boxy. So I when back and dumbed it down so to speak(even pulled out the old facial mirror and mouthed everything out myself). Then I though I wasn't giving enough. So this last run I exaggerated some of the phonemes to better try to relay the sound in a short amount of time. I love letting other look at my stuff just for these types of instances(I really have to give my audience more credit)

 

As for the hands: Yeah, it was a issue for me to try to come up with things to do with her hands. I did think about adding a prop or something to have her fiddle with, but I didn't want to take away from her performance. I'll sit on it and see if I can come up with a happy medium.

 

Not sure if the color issues(lips and inner mouth) are truly issues. This was only a shaded render. Here is a Final render:

 

post-4389-1272061772_thumb.png

post-4389-1272061793_thumb.png

 

 

Thank you guys(especially you Robcat!!!!!) for your feedback. Sometimes having that second pair of eyes(and not so self doubting judgmental opinion) is a lifesaver.

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  • Hash Fellow
In the original run, I had a whole lot more syllables and it looked really chatter-boxy. So I when back and dumbed it down so to speak... Then I though I wasn't giving enough. So this last run I exaggerated some of the phonemes to better try to relay the sound in a short amount of time.

 

My inclination is to hit the accents in speech with head and body motion rather than try to do it with the lips. I feel that head motion also reduces the look of a static head with a jaw flapping at the bottom. But head nods and twitches are hard to do well and that tactic can get old too.

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  • Hash Fellow
As for the hands: Yeah, it was a issue for me to try to come up with things to do with her hands. I did think about adding a prop or something to have her fiddle with, but I didn't want to take away from her performance. I'll sit on it and see if I can come up with a happy medium.

If she has a prop it gives you natural reasons to not do symmetrical poses.

 

And whatever the prop is it adds a hint of back-story to her. A cup of coffee, an ipod, a book, a microscope... any of them could be there and each of them would suggest something different about her and her monologue.

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