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Will_S

*A:M User*
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  • Name
    Will Suckow
  • Location
    Kaleeforneeya

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  • Hardware Platform
    Macintosh
  • System Description
    Dual G5 PowerMac 2GHz OS 10.4.8, 1.5Gb RAM ATI Radeon X800 XT Mac Edition

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  1. The link to the manual seems to be broken — http://www.anzovin.com/TSM2manual/ doesn't get me to the manual.
  2. I thought your film was great, veeeerrrry funny, and loved the staging, sets, and timing. Most of the problems I saw seemed to have more to do with a short production time. That fact that you accomplished a nearly 3 minute piece this good in three weeks is amazing. I'd sure be happy if I could do that. OK, on with the critique: Restaurant scene: -Stiff unexpressive fingers (actually, that's a problem throughout the film) -Floaty cell phone hand -It would be nice to have the other patrons leave in disgust rather than just disappear Walking down the street -Exaggerate Shaggy's gestures and the pedestrian's avoidance of Shaggy's gestures. It didn't read strongly enough for me and I didn't catch it right away. It might also help to have Shaggy's hand stay closer to his body and have his hand swing out when he's closer to the pedestrian. Right now, it feels like the hand is out there long enough for the other pedestrian to notice and avoid easily. Start him subtly gesturing soon after he walks out the door to help with the anticipation of his broader gestures when he almost decks his fellow pedestrian. I love the action of the car and driver as brakes to avoid Shaggy. The bank gag works perfect. Maybe have the robber drop his gun hand down more quickly - a bit floaty now - so that he reaches for the dough sooner. Fender bender: Something doesn't quite feel right here in the VW bug's slide -- it doesn't seem snappy enough. Maybe add a dip of the front end as the brakes are applied and the slide begins (like you did at the first intersection). The actual collision works nicely. Parking Garage -Nice snappy action as Shaggy gets in and takes off. -Good setup and timing of the "Can you hear me now gag?" I like the title cards as you have them and think the final bouncing cell phone is icing on the cake. The first hit and first half on the man's fall (fantastic tumble/spin!) are great. The last half when he stops tumbling and falls straight down doesn't quite work. Maybe pull the tail end of the last rotation into the drop so that he still has some rotation when he hits the ground. There was almost a 1/4 rotation of of his body between the first and second frames of impact that also doesn't mesh with the straight fall. -When he hits the ground, he feels a bit lightweight --maybe because it goes by so fast. His shoulder landing position is quite amusing. Maybe adding a few more frames to that initial impact to allow for his lower abdomen, right leg, and left knee to flex down towards his face a bit more before coming back up. It might give the impact the weight it needs before he unfolds onto his back. When his feet do hit the ground, have his knees dip towards the ground before coming up to their final position. It feels a bit weightless here as well and that might help. Driving oblivious Love the swerving motorist and bicyclist tumble. That last tumble of the bicycle in the rear window feels like it's hanging in the air just a tad too long but I think that it maybe just needs to rotate a bit more on the tumble so that the bike's front end isn't pointing up during the entire last tumble. The intersection (overhead shot) The action here feels floaty and needs to be a bit snappier. Road maintenance worker The car speed and bouncing of the cones, etc. are perfect. The worker's reaction was sluggish and floaty. Maybe a snappy double take when he finally notices the sign is gone from his hand? The dump truck launch Cool! Cool! Cool! Shaggy in orbit -Exaggerate the arc of his flight a bit more in the beginning so there more contrast between the beginning of his flight and the end. At the end of the flight, the car does feel like it's heading down but I don't quite feel that it's going up in the beginning. -The landing works nicely. Great parking job. Felt like the bicycle kid anticipates the impact a tad early. Love him sliding down the side of the car. -Like the newspaper headline and ending just the way it is. Maybe a tad snappier in Shaggy's reactions. Love the fact that he is still oblivious to the mayhem he's caused and that his love for his cell phone triumphs all. Plus one of the greatest of screen kisses. A very funny film - sure wish I'd made it. How did you get the shadows to taper off to white like that? Will
  3. Very nice! The syncronized quacking made me laugh and the grandeur of the music was a wonderful counterpoint to the absurd visuals. Good camera work, too! Will
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